Before my eyes

fully open…

I’ve already

walked through

two disasters,

five conversations,

and a future

that hasn’t even

begun to exist.

Morning,

for me,

isn’t sunshine

and coffee.

It’s a complex

mental obstacle course.

I replay conversations…

long after

they’ve ended.

I turn

a meeting request

into unemployment.

I reread emails

after they’ve already

been sent.

Looking for…

the mistake

I couldn’t possibly

take back.

I prepare apologies

no one

will ever hear.

I fight arguments

no one else

knows we’re having.

Along the way,

I stopped trusting

common sense.

I started believing

I deserved

the worst-case scenario.

I wasn’t living

for tomorrow…

or even

for today.

I was rehearsing

for a tragedy

that never

checked in.

Then…

one day . . .

I realized…

Anxiety

is loud.

It screams

from every corner

of my mind.

But volume

has never been

the same thing

as truth.

Fear

can shout…

and still

be wrong.